My Declaration of Independence


When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the ties which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and the Laws of the Goddess and God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women and men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. -- That to secure these rights, Rules and Boundaries are instituted among people, deriving their just powers from their Creator, -- That whenever any Tyrant becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right and Duty of the oppressed to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Rules and Boundaries, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Rules and Boundaries long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly and all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the insanity and death of an individual under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty , to throw off such Tyranny, and to provide new Guards for their future security. -- Such has been the patient sufferance of Armena Amy Marie; and such is now the necessity which constrains her to alter the relationship between Her and Ed. The history of the tyrant Ed is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over Armena Amy Marie. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

Ed has caused me oceans of tears and pain unmentionable.

Ed has caused me to abuse my body. Ed destroyed my metabolism with yo-yo dieting. Ed ruined my bowels by causing me to abuse laxatives. Ed did cause me to become a drug addict while pursuing ways to maintain my weight. Ed did cause me to gorge until I developed pancreatitis and destroyed my organs irreparably. Ed did cause me to gain hundreds of pounds which left me permanently scarred with stretch marks and excess skin. This will necessitate expensive and dangerous surgery to repair leaving me further scarred. Ed did cause me to ruin my teeth by purging.

Ed caused me to gain hundreds of pounds of fat. This fat caused me misery, heartache, and decimated my self-esteem. I became an asexual blob mired in self-hatred because of Ed.

Ed did cause me to suffer decades of clinical depression requiring treatment and medication.

Ed did hereby cause me to attempt suicide both slowly and torturously and the immediate solution..

Ed did cause me to go bankrupt and to be indebted because of the pursuit of food.

Ed did cause me to violate my own morals and belief systems via stealing, lying, and the giving of my body to pursue love and affection.

Ed caused me to feel unloved and unworthy of love.

Ed caused me to feel damaged.

Ed caused me to pursue food, an inanimate object, over and above all things including relationships, love, happiness, security, and friendship.

Ed has caused me to forsake friends, fiancées, and lovers.

In every stage of these Oppressions I have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms. My repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. This man Ed, is not fit to be friend or ally to my person. I have attempted time and time again to negotiate circumstances to our relationship and provide protection for myself. Ed has been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. I must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, and denounce my Separation, and hold Ed, an Enemy in War.

I, therefore, appeal to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of my intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of myself & my Maker, solemnly publish and declare, that my Person is and of Right ought to be Free and Independent, that I am Absolved from all Allegiance to ED, and that all political, social, emotional, physical, and metal connections between them be Severed. – And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, I pledge to my Higher Power my Life, my Fortune, and my sacred Honor.