I was reminded of a 12 step analogy today. It is particularly insightful when it comes to eating disorders.

Your recovery is something you stand on, it holds you. Think of your recovery as a 3-legged stool. One leg is physical recovery, one leg is spiritual recovery, the last leg is emotional recovery.

Now work just a spiritual program. Do the praying & communicating with HP. But don't work the steps, don't be abstinent. Now, try to stand on your recovery....try to stand on your stool. You can't, one leg is way longer than the other.

Try it a different way. Let's be abstinent and working the 12 steps, but don't communicate with HP. Don't pray, meditate or in anyway develop a relationship with a higher power. Let's also work on our steps with our sponsor. We have a food plan & we're sticking to it! We are losing weight. Now what happens? You still can't stand on your stool, two legs are long, the other one really short or non-existent.

The point is, you have to work all aspects of the program. If you have spiritual recovery only (otherwise known as fat serenity) but no physical recovery, your program is out of whack. You're not really in recovery. You can't be in recovery & working the program for years and gaining weight! If you are gaining weight you aren't abstinent, you can't be! Weight gain isn't a sin & it doesn't mean you are a bad person....what it does mean is that you aren't in recovery & you're not working the program. You are taking in too much food, that isn't sane. No physical recovery, no sanity, no emotional recovery. You can be very spiritual and very fat (I have been). You can also attend meetings. You can be around the program, you may even say you're in program....but you aren't working the program! I heard someone today say that they were jealous that people in the program are losing weight. Then they said that they felt they were really working the program because they had spiritual recovery, and that is the point of program. The point of program is actually a 3-fold recovery: spiritual, emotional and physical. If you are a food addict, abstinence is essential. If you are an alcoholic sobreity is essential. This is where compulsive overeaters and food addicts miss the recovery boat.......I did it for several years myself so I understand better than anyone. It's also what's wrong with OA & why membership has diminished so it's a VERY IMPORTANT POINT. YOU CAN'T HAVE SPIRITUAL RECOVERY WITHOUT PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL RECOVERY. Imagine this, an AA meeting where 2/3rds of the members sat around talking about how they were still drinking alcohol everyday but where spiritually recovered. If you've been to enough AA meetings you would find this ludicrous......because it NEVER HAPPENS! Because someone would stand up & say....."hold on there buddy....YOU CAN'T BE DRINKING ALCOHOL & BE RECOVERING. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! You CAN go to meetings and drink all the way there & all the way home. You can go to 3 meetings a day & drink your brains out. You are welcome to come to meetings stinking drunk & reeking of booze. Members will befriend you and allow you to talk ad nasuem....but noone will allow you to get away with a bullshit statement like you're drinking alcohol but have spiritual recovery! This is the lie that has been killing OA. It's the reason it's hard to attract & keep newcomers (most people come to OA to lose weight & they don't want to walk into a meeting where everyone is saying they have been working the program for years and they are still fat!) Then the ones who have been there for years get tired of coming back & coming back & getting nothing out of it. But the first thing that needs to be done is PUTTING DOWN THE FOOD. It sucks! It's work! And it's the first thing and alcoholic does when they enter program, they put down the alcohol! It's the first thing a coke head does, put down the blow! It's the first thing a gambler does, stop gambling! The point is not to do your drug anymore!!!! It is the reason we go to a 12 step meeting. How do we do it? We develop a spiritual relationship with a Higher Power. That's HOW we do it. We keep it going by clearing away our emotional backage. But physical recovery IS THE POINT! IT'S WHY WE ARE THERE! How food addicts/compulsive overeaters miss this is easy to figure out....they still are listening to the disease. Their disease is trying to kill them by getting them to believe they are in recovery, all the while they are using. It is an baffling, cunning, powerful, insidous disease. It is killing the victim & killing OA & it has too stop.