Lightbulb Moment!

When I arrived home from a long day at work last evening I came home to some medical bills. Thankfully HP has provided me with money to pay them. But the debt was weighing on my mind. The next morning I followed my recovery routine by picking out some divination cards. The card for my day was "Time to move On....It's time to let go of the old & worn out so the new can come in." I didn't understand what it was referring to. Driving to work I got very upset & started crying. "All these bills to pay. This is too expensive. I need to switch to an HMO. But then I won't be able to see my specialists. What if I get sick again & I'm stuck with a lousy HMO? What if I keep the PPO & get sick again.....I'll never get out of debt?" On & on the thoughts went. Then it was as if someone hit me on the head with a hammer. Why are you worrying about being sick in the future? Just because it happened in the past? YOU MAY NEVER BE SICK AGAIN! You are living in the past. Living as if the past will be your future. IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!!! It was as if HP really had to knock me in the head. I was using the past to predict the future. But my illness was really brought on by my addiction....which I am no longer practicing....so why would I get sick again? Even if I did, all I can do is prepare the best I can. I can't predict the future. There is no sense in worrying....WORRY MAKES YOU ILL! A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. The past is the past, it doesn't predict my future. I am changing my future by living rightly in the present!

As an aside I am living through the holidays abstinently & without resentment towards others because they can eat what I can't.

Blessings,

Amy