Last night was a hard & enlightening night for me. I had just written a letter to my disease telling it goodbye, we're breaking up (see letter below). Well I knew my disease would be fighting back & it did. Last night I dreamed I binged. I dreamed I went into my closet (one of the places I used to hide my binge foods from my family) and binged. I know those dreams are normal, especially in the first year of recovery. But they are still hard to deal with. I also had several dreams about bats!! I have Native American Animal Totem cards & I went to them to see what bats stood for. I was pleased to discover bat meant rebirth! The card talked about a symbolic death (like Shamans) & then being reborn. It also talked of dying to old habits & starting a new life. I feel this is a very good omen considering the letter I wrote to my disease last night. Well the disease may have fought back last night while I was asleep but the fact is I remained abstinent!!! 94 days!!