This is a share/post of mine online...hope you find it helpful.

Hi everyone, Amy, coe & fa, in recovery & abstinent ODAT.
I tried EVERYTHING except WLS (I didn't do that because I knew someone
that died from complications after the surgery + I knew too many that had
it & gained all their weight back & more after losing it). Still, miracle
I didn't try that too! I've done All the diets, including the major pay
as you go ones, boxed & packages foods, nutritionists, dietitians,
doctors, pills (legal & illegal), starvation, laxatives, vomiting....blah
blah blah.....you get the picture.
None of that worked for me. I also tried OA once before....stayed 31/2
years, didn't get it either. I loved knowing other people who were like
me with food, but in truth I never wanted recovery. I wanted to be thin.
There is a HUGE difference from wanting to be thin, and wanting to be
healthy emotionally, physically, mentally, & spiritually. They are worlds
apart.
The second time I came into OA "I got it". I needed to know that I had
tried everything & failed. Some things I needed to try twice (yeah, I'm
hard headed). I got it this time because I was desperate & wanted to be
healthy. My focus was on the right thing, abstinence & recovery...not
thinness. Being a normal weight is a byproduct of the recovery, it
shouldn't be the goal. In my opinion abstinence should be the goal
because recovery depends on & follows the abstinence. How can one recover
mentally, emotionally & spiritually after all if they're in a food fog? I
know I couldn't. Once I got abstinent I was able to think clearly & put
the work into recovery.
I found abstinence was a decision I needed to make. It's not a feeling
that one day came to me out of the blue. Hanging around OA & doing step
work while in a food fog never helped me to "get it". 31/2 years of doing
that clearly didn't work. I merely needed to decide to be abstinent.
Once I made the decision to be abstinent I did what it took to stay that
way. How did I know what to do? I did what those who recovered told me
to do. I got a sponsor. I gave my food to her daily as an exercise in
honesty & surrender. I did the step work she gave to me. I read the
literature. I began more & more to reach out. I attended a LOT of
meetings, on line & f2f. I do service. I write. Really none of this was
new information to me....I had heard it all before. But there is a big
difference between having knowledge & utilizing it. This time I used it
because I had to follow through with my decision, my decision to be
abstinent. It was a simple decision, but not neccessarily easy to follow
through with, especially at the beginning.
Sometimes I needed (and still do) need to go to on line meetings all day
long. I belong to several loops & read emails & write them. Sometimes I
need to play a computer game just to keep my hands busy so I don't eat.
Sometimes I have to actually sit on my hands...but I do it because I know
I DON'T EAT NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! For me that resolve got stronger
& stronger the longer I stayed abstinent as long as I did not allow myself
to get sidetracked.
Last month my disease was trying to get me. It convinced me I needed to
go back to school...now! Then that I needed to get a second job to pay
off my debts....now! Then get involved in a relationship.....NOW! I knew
better....I know you don't make any major life changes until you've had a
year's worth of abstinence under your belt & you've worked all the steps.
Big duh!!!!!!!!! But my disease is insidious, cunning, baffling,
powerful....patient. I looked into going back to school, started a job
hunt, was going to sign up for an on line dating service. Then I
remembered...oh yeah....abstinence is your FIRST priority. Without it,
you have nothing, you will lose everything. So I stopped myself from
going back to school for now. I will survive financially for a little
while longer without another job. Dating can definitely wait. I need my
recovery. So instead I signed up for more service jobs on line, f2f, and
took on some sponsees, joined more loops. That took care of some extra
time & kept my focus where it needs to be....Abstinence/recovery, ODAT.
I have found this Tradition study invaluable. It reminds me why the OA
meetings I used to attend are no longer around and while I need to be part
of the solution of recovery and a message bringer to meetings & not a
"mess" dumper.
Thanks to everyone for posting,
Love & blessings,
Amy