Being abstinent & working the 12 step program gives me integrity. My informal definition of integrity is: doing what I said I was going to do, and not doing what I said I wasn't going to do. But I decided to look up the definition of integrity in the dictionary to see if I was operating within the same framework. 1. Rigid adherence to a code of behavior; probity. I didn't like that definition so much. As an addict I am very naturally an all or nothing, black or white thinker. That kind of rigidity can be dangerous for me. If I think like that, and I make a mistake, then I might as well throw in the towell & give up because I screwed up. Hmmmmmmm, definition 2 might be better. The state of being unimpaired; soudness. Now that is what I am looking for. As an addict I need to be off ALL of my drugs so that I can be sane and clear headed. If I am using any drug I am impaired. Let's check out the 3rd definition. Completeness, unity, purity. That is what I hope to get out of working the 12 step program. Unity of my emotion, mind, body & spirit. Purity of spirit & completeness and wholeness within my life. Working the steps gives me integrity.