Pain is a feeling, but it can lessen. You have to be willing to let the pain go. Safe is a spot in
your head, an idea that you nurture. No one in this world lives in a space
where they are untouchable, invincible, or without pain. Pain is and
always will be a part of life. Pain can be good, it can let us know we
are alive. It can also let us know when something is not working for us
and we need to let it go. Pain can help us learn to move away from the
thing that causes us pain. Pain is our greatest teacher.
You can't change the factual past. But you can change the future by the
choices you make today. You can also change the way you feel about past
events. Recovery in the 12 step program will help you with this. Please
stick around in these rooms....you will find hope here. You will learn to
build a safe place to exist in your head, that place is often called "God"
or "Higher Power" in the program....but you can call it whatever you want.
I have had a lot of bad things happen to me too. I no longer allow them
to define me or my existence. I am no longer going to be a victim. Oh
someone can do something horrible to me. They can choose to do something
against my will. But I am the one who will define it for me. I will
define how it will affect me. That is the way out of victimhood. We are
powerless over the circumstances of life. But we are all powerful when it
comes to OUR actions, OUR beliefs & ideas, and yes, we are even all
powerful over OUR pain. We can change it, mold it, lessen it, accept it.
No one will be able to wave a magick wand and make the pain disappear.
But I promise you, it can become manageable. You can also take the power
of that awful moment away, the power of the person who hurt you away, by
not allowing that one moment in time to define you the rest of your life.
What happened to me happened. I realize now the men who hurt me were
very, very sick individuals. What happens to them, in their lives, isn't
my problem or concern however. But viewing them as sick rather than evil,
helped me to see that there was nothing wrong with me. I was not a bad
person to get chosen for something so awful to happen. I was an easy
victim, I was a child. But now I am an adult. I choose strength. There
are so many things that define me. I will choose not to allow events I
couldn't control define me any longer. Instead I will choose to allow the
strength I have to overcome define me. I am not a victim....I AM A
WARRIORESS. I AM POWERFUL. I AM FREE! I CHOOSE MY LIFE.
Please keep coming back. Things will change, they always do. If you work
the program, I promise, they will change for the better. Let your HP as
YOU define Him/Her/It hold you like no human can.
Love to you on your recovery journey,
Amy