I started to write a letter to someone but decided to post this before *I* forgot information I know! LOL!

Welcome to OA! Welcome Home!
I assure you this program does work. I used to weigh nearly 450lbs. Now I weigh 209 & I am still losing. I used to be "lazy" and would actually time things like going to the bathroom with other activities because I hated to move. This kind of "lazy" was really because I was overweight. You will see that as you lose weight it is easier to move & everyday life becomes less of a struggle. So you may find out later that you are not as lazy as you think you are. This once lazy & piggy girl now gets her butt up at 5:00 in the morning to kickbox or weight lift. I once was too lazy to make my bed (went a decade without making it) now it's the first thing I do in the morning. I used to be too lazy to brush my teeth!!! I would go days without doing so. Now I wouldn't dream of it. Believe me, if you work this program your life will change *drastically*! And for the better!
One warning......because it seems like you and I have a lot in common. I was engaged to a man who watched EVERYTHING I ate. He used to complain about what I was eating, my portion sizes. My nickname for him was "the food policeman". The next man I was engaged to (and really loved) was the exact opposite. He was slightly overweight but not obese like me. But he enjoyed taking me out to eat & buying & making me food. I did not marry him either but had a realization later that these men were different sides of the same coin. Both were controlling with food. One was controlling in that he induldged me food wise. He encouraged me to eat, and unhealthily. How is this controlling??? If you are obese, you're health and very life is in danger. You are also limited socially. This IS a form of control. It is actually a very common way men control women in this society. Overweight women in this society are near powerless. I know you are probably not ready to think about this yet....but just wanted you to hear it so it doesn't sound so foreign later, when it starts to make sense. Having said that I'm sure your hubby has no idea he's doing it. But if someone really loves you, they don't want you to be overweight. Fat = early death and disease. There is nothing fun about being fat and unfit. There is nothing fun about being unattractive, unable to move, being less employable, and being less valued by society.
At some point, in order to recover, food will have to change for you. I am guessing that right now food is a friend, comforter, and food is enjoyment. For some food eventually becomes the enemy. For me and my recovery....food had to become one thing and one thing only......NUTRITION. Nothing more, and nothing less. Food no longer fullfills my emotional needs. That is unhealthy for me.
Hope to see you in the loops & meetings!
Amy